NOTE: Several family members were brutally slaughtered recently, so I will take a break from writing. Their deaths erased my affinity for writing about politics or the economy, thus I'll later limit myself to health and brainpower in addition to completing my book on rapidly overcoming racism and bigotry. BTW, the two men who murdered my father are still on the lam; I am offering up to $100,000 for information leading to their arrest and conviction.
Free firewood: from me to your fireplace or wood stove
I am giving away free firewood to anyone with a wood stove or fireplace who needs help heating their home this winter. I'll give first preference to elderly folks, single women, and disabled men. I will gladly cut the logs to a specified length if desired and load them as you sip on a cup of coffee or tea (also free) and possibly munch on a tasty treat I made, if I've recently baked something yummy.
The price for firewood is shockingly high: sometimes $400 per cord. Yikes! Back in the days when I walked a mile to my school bus stop (yes, really :-), I helped my stepfather sell apple firewood for $40 per cord. My, how times have changed! Burning apple wood emits a heavenly scent, so it commanded a higher price than other hardwoods.
My firewood isn't apple, but it is otherwise premium hardwood. I use STIHL® BioPlus™ bar and chain oil for my chainsaw, which is made with vegetable oil. That's pricey but better for the environment—and you! In the process of cutting firewood, some bar and chain oil is transferred to the ends of logs, and eventually goes up in smoke along with the rest of the log when burned. Burning vegetable oil is less hazardous than burning petroleum-based oil. Vegetable oil isn't benign but it is certainly safer, which likely explains why employees of fast food restaurants don't drop like flies. :-)
My firewood also does not (to the best of my knowledge) contain any bullets or shotgun pellets, which can be invisibly embedded in logs. Lead is a potent neurotoxin that can adversely affect IQ and cause other health problems.
My firewood is cut from trees on my property that has soil with exceptionally low lead levels. All soil contains some lead. When trees grow, they absorb the nutrients they want along with some of the toxins in the soil, including lead, which ends up in firewood logs. Clearly, it is better to have logs from trees harvested from low-lead areas, such as mine.
In an effort to economize, some people put used motor oil in their chainsaws to lubricate the bar and chain. That's very bad for the environment and anyone who burns logs cut with it. Why? Used motor oil contains many harmful chemicals, often including lead, arsenic, and cadmium. I'm probably the only firewood supplier who graduated from medical school, so I know what such toxins can do to you.
In summary, my logs are better for your body and brain, and they're free! To get them, contact me. Please note: I do not sell any firewood, so I reserve the right to decide who shall receive my free logs.
If you want to thank me for the logs, please consider donating to help Liz Larios and her husband. I'm selling my Sea-doo, Ski-doo, and shed to raise money to help them return to Traverse City.
OK, what's the catch?
There is none. I simply believe in being generous. Many years ago, I was the recipient of unexpected generosity that warmed my heart, thereby teaching me a valuable lesson.
In one case, during my college days, I was mowing the lawn of a wealthy oral and maxillofacial surgeon when his neighbor approached me and invited me into her lavish home on a beautiful lake. She led me into the most exquisite kitchen I'd ever seen and told me, dirty from mowing, to sit at her table as she gave me delicious food that included things I couldn't afford, such as fresh berries mixed with yogurt. Neither she nor her husband, who sat across from me, was eating at the time, but they seemed to enjoy watching me get full—something I rarely did during lean years in which most of my money went toward tuition, books, and basic living expenses.
In another case, also during college, my duplex neighbors were a Professor from Saudi Arabia and his family. One of their children asked me to assemble a pool they purchased, saying her father was very intelligent but mechanically inept. The day after I assembled the pool they showered me with several plates full of food that was unbelievably tasty! This came at a time when successfully scrimping on meals was one of my main sources of pleasure; a 25-cent meal was good, and a 7-cent meal made my day. Eating lots of five-star food for days was a pleasant respite from the hunger I often felt, so I greatly appreciated their gift.
UPDATE: The demand for valuable free things (like my firewood) is predictably high and usually exceeds the ability of the producer to produce them. I reinjured my neck while cutting firewood this fall, which further limited my ability to supply an almost unlimited demand. While recuperating, I stumbled upon this quote:
“Chop your own wood, and it will warm you twice.”
— Henry Ford
That made me realize that it is better to limit my free firewood to people who are elderly or disabled. If you are physically able to cut wood, you can do that on my property (after signing a release) or state land, which accumulates dead trees and brush that contributes to the fire hazard. By performing this useful public service, you would be warmed three times, with the additional warmth coming from the warmth in your heart.
